Part of our experience in this life is to have relationships that will end. Everyone who comes into our lives has some purpose. They may have entered our lives to teach us something or we may have been put on their path to teach them something. Either way, only a handful of relationships will last the majority of our lives if we are fortunate. Some relationships will be unhealthy. Even if an unhealthy relationship lasts for years or decades, at some point you have to release it so you can have peace.
If you were involved in an unhealthy relationship and yet still hold onto the other person, try to warp the memories in your mind, or even have "it wasn't always awful" memories, it can bring you down and keep you not only from having peace but keep you from finding true happiness. You have to release the other person, send them love, wish them peace, and move on. It is unhealthy to hold onto the past if it was negative. It is unhealthy to value the memory of a special day or what should have been a special day that involved someone who mistreated you.
If the person who mistreated you was a parent, it can be quite confusing and difficult to release them. They were supposed to love you, so shouldn't you love them back? Shouldn't you be grateful to them for what they did do for you? Some of you may be thinking, they mistreated or abused me, but I still had the basic necessities of life. Doesn't that mean I owe them something? No, it doesn't. Mistreatment and abuse is wrong, no matter where it comes from and what may "go right" at other times. Abuse should not be condoned, nor should it be swept under the rug and the abuser made to look like a good person. Anyone who abuses someone else is not a good person. If they treat others outside of the family nice but abuse you or their family, they are not a good person. A lot of abusers hide in plain sight, being nice to people outside of the family or even nice to their family in public, but behind closed doors, they are a monster.
If you are holding onto memories of someone who mistreated you and they are deceased, it can be very difficult to release them. You may tell yourself "it wasn't always that bad" because now that they are gone you feel guilty about saying negative things about them. As the saying goes, "the truth shall set you free." Allowing your mind to warp the memories of bad experiences and/or trauma only does more damage to you as you attempt to bury the truth. The subconscious remembers everything fully and completely. There is no hiding or manipulating the truth from the subconscious and you will either have to deal with it at some point or spend your life not knowing what happiness really is. You may feel like since they have passed you can never make peace with them or say how you feel. You may feel like it doesn't matter since they are gone. Your inner peace always matters! You can write them a letter, tell them aloud how you feel, or see consult a psychic medium to help you express your feelings.
Allowing someone else's negative actions to affect your life after they are deceased or after a relationship ends will only bring you pain. Release them and let yourself find peace. Releasing them in no way condones their actions, it just severs the ties they have to you and gives you peace.
*** Note: This blog post was not written referring to any one individual in particular, but rather written to help those in the world who are trying to heal and find happiness or need to be made aware they can find happiness and love even after abuse and/or mistreatment. Unfortunately, there are too many people dwelling on past bad relationships that are only prolonging their own pain. I wish all those who are going through the pain of not releasing bad past relationships the courage and strength to release the bad past relationship(s) and the ability to move on and find peace and happiness.
With love & light,
Margaret Phillips
